03.25.06: I know what I need...
...I need the Minion Army of Cuteness!
Think about it: I could have a little troupe of tiny, colorful creatures of overweening cuteness who would do my every bidding. They could get me Starbucks in the morning. They could do little dances for my enjoyment. And they could even cook me dinner. And they'd be totally cheerful, all the time.
Bring on the Minion Army! :)